Two years ago today my life was turned upside down. Two years ago today my mother died. Since 6:00 pm last night, I have relived every single moment of my last days with her. I know I shouldn't do that to myself, but in a way it helps. It's amazing to me how I can recall details like it was yesterday. I remember what I was wearing, what I ate, what I said to her when I left the hospital that night. I remember packing her bags for the hospital thinking she'll need something comfortable but presentable because she'll have visitors. When I cry, sometimes I cry because I am so jealous that she is in Heaven with our Lord praising him like I know she always wanted to. Sometimes I cry because I am so sad that my children are not going to know her. Bexley got to meet her but he was barely a year old when she died; he'll never remember how much she loved him, and as much I tell him, he'll never understand how special he was to her. Most of the time I cry because I just miss her so much. I miss calling her with recipe questions, with medical questions or with parenting questions. No matter what, she was always right. I miss her hands, her smile and her skin. I miss the way she smelled of latex gloves when she came home from work or of onions after cooking dinner. I especially miss the way she would laugh until she wet her pants!! Words can never express how special my mother was and that's what I'm most afraid of. I will not ever be able to share with my children how special she was. She was not only the best mother, but the best wife and I can only dream of being the kind of wife to my husband that she was to my dad. Most people knew my mother as a nurse and a wonderful nurse she was. She was an even better mom. I miss her more and more everyday. She was my biggest fan and the best role model I ever had. Now I have comfort knowing that she is now my Guardian Angel. I love you, Mom.